This week I felt like creating a new webpage with a blog to supplement what I document of my life in my youtube channel, Tiny Studio Lara. Both Neocities & Nekoweb appealed to me for hosting with core philosophies centered on bringing back the creativity & exploration of early, pre-corporate & social media web. The idea of a small web feels cozy and intimate which speaks more to the tiny ethos that I try to convey in my youtube channel.
this was one of my blogs in the past. i was aiming for that DIY zine look. i've definitely done both minimalist & maximalist when it came to web design
That said, I do wish that I kept or archived past blogs for future me to read instead of deleting the majority of them. I've had so many blogs in different platforms: Blogger, Blogspot, Myspace, Wordpress.com, Wordpress (standalone), Tumblr, Squarespace, Instagram and then several static ones that I've created on Github after learning how to code. Some were photo-heavy, leaning towards photo-dumping or collecting found images. Some felt very informational, some very confessional. It was always at some milestone in my life that would prompt me to start a new blog: the ending of my first marriage, going through a stressful divorce, falling in love with photography, meeting someone new and later a second marriage, going back to school, studying art, dealing with several job and lifestyle changes, and so on.
I always needed a place to park my thoughts and ideas. I flirted with oversharing while staying anonymous. At times, I shared blog posts with people I knew through an email newsletter knowing full well that those ended up in their junk folders and eventually deleted. I wanted an audience as much as I didn't want an audience. I've lost count of the number of Instagram accounts I've opened to try and promote a blog, only to delete those social accounts and then later delete the blog when I tired or regretted making an effort to share anything at all. I got tired of the blogging routine too quick. I rushed through each posts only to reread, revise and then delete those posts.
This time around, I am looking to maintain this site primarily for future me to read & I guess for anyone else willing to as well. I want the process of writing this one to be slower. I want to enjoy chewing on each thought and mull through words like I haven't before. I want it to be unapologetic even if it reads like crap or if I disappear for months. I want to be able to come back to it without apologies or excuses for disappearing and never feeling the need to provide updates on what's going on with my life lately. I want reading these words to feel like browsing in a bookstore where you casually pick up an anthology of essays which you open to some random page without caring much for beginning or end.